Munchkin-Gate

I want to start this post with a disclaimer.

I still believe in no restrictions. Everything in moderation, especially with a GLP-1! My reasoning for this post is aimed at Dunkin... and not at Munchkin-enjoyers. And, well... at making fun of myself and the fact that my criteria for true enjoyment of food is highly specific. But this hill is definitely one I'm willing to die on.

Recently, I learned something about Munchkins, those delectable little donut holes from Dunkin' (is that what we're calling it now?). Anthony and I brought Munchkins to a family gathering on Father's Day -- and I was shocked to learn that Munchkins run 60-90 calories PER MUNCHKIN!

As someone who tracks their daily food intake within the framework of a calorie deficit, I was appalled to know that those tiny treats are so packed with calories. Why? Because GLP-1 medication or not, I can eat a Munchkin in one bite. I call injustice. A rip-off, if you will.

Over the past year, I've learned a lot about myself. About food intake and calorie deficits and eating in moderation. I've learned what food doesn't make me feel good, and that restricting and steering clear of food that upsets my stomach are two different things. And I've also learned that no matter how many times I spend the entire day after injection day eating far few calories than I'm allowed for the day... I'm STILL always going to love food, even if I don't love food the day after injection day. And as someone who still loves food, I know that I'm always going to be able to eat a single Munchkin in approximately 10 seconds.

Part of my enjoyment of food comes when food lasts. In other words, when it takes me more than five to ten minutes to eat -- not 10 seconds. On a GLP-1, I overall eat much slower than I did before, which lends itself to my version of food enjoyment! BUT... Munchkins are definitely the exception to my newfound slower method of consuming food. Other fast-food dessert items, such as chocolate chip cookies from Starbucks, feel like the same kind of rip-off that Munchkins do (and you know how much I will die on this hill if I'm critiquing anything from Starbucks). Yes, the cookie is a lot bigger than a Munchkin, but I can eat it in less than five minutes and as a result of that speed of consumption, I won't get any enjoyment from eating it. That cookie is 370 calories... and more often than not I'm STILL HUNGRY after eating it! If I'm going to use 370 of my daily calories for one meal or snack, the food better last a lot longer than a few minutes -- and I better not still be hungry after it's gone. At least an order of large fries from McDonald's can take 10 minutes to eat if you pace yourself!

If you love Munchkins or the Starbucks chocolate chip cookie enough to eat either in moderation, great! If you don't care about how long food lasts while you're eating it, or you somehow can make Munchkins last long enough for you to actually enjoy them, more power to you. Congratulations... I don't begrudge you either treat at ALL. Maybe your food enjoyment criteria is different than mine is. Remember, we don't restrict over here!

But I know that I don't love Munchkins that much. That thought process, to me, is different than restricting food; it's making an active choice to not let Munchkins take up too much of my calorie deficit when they won't even last long enough for me to enjoy eating them. I'm going to use my calories on food that I'll enjoy eating, because I'll, oh I don't know, register that I'm eating it before it's gone in a literal flash.

As a child, I'm pretty sure that I could eat 10-12 Munchkins in one sitting. Today, at 36 years old and on 10mg of Zepbound, I don't think I could eat that many... but I could definitely eat five of them in quick succession. To eat a minimum of 300 calories over five Munchkins (and less than five minutes) just feels unfair. Do better, Dunkin... Lean Cuisine macaroni and cheese contains fewer calories than that. If I'm going to eat something out-of-the-ordinary in moderation, I'm not picking anything that I can eat in two, or five, or seven bites -- that's what everyday foods, like protein bars, are for (but don't forget, we still need to like what we are eating, even the everyday foods!). If I'm going to really go for it... the longer it lasts, the better! Give me the brownie sundae at a restaurant. Or homemade cacio e pepe. I'll be at either of those for a good half hour, and thanks to Zepbound, won't be able to finish either dish.

All of this to say: Sorry, six-year-old Gracie. Munchkins are a SCAM.